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[11 Apr 2006|03:04am]
my middle hurts
and my sleep pattern is reversed
calgary thursday!
Something is happening here

[02 Apr 2006|10:53am]
[ mood | drained ]

i woke up with "the USSR" in my head
what the hell
i drank way too much wine last night "privately stocked" wine...
ugh, i have had 2 hours of sleep and im still dizzy...


Something is happening here

[29 Mar 2006|03:46am]
i'm having one of my nights where i sit and overanalyze myself
til i wanna get drunk and pass out
but, no alcohol here tonight
Something is happening here

[27 Mar 2006|07:28pm]
capote was the best movie i have seen in a while
man, i go to the library here, the other day "do you have any truman capote"

my god..
Something is happening here

[24 Mar 2006|01:43am]
i went out for the first time in days this evening
i bought 5 books for a dollar at the library.
i took out "shes come undone" by wally lamb, ingrid suggested i did.
ingrids leaving for 6 days :(
im really a big fan of the writer's name
wally lamb
reminds me of an amusement park and a lamb
Something is happening here

[20 Mar 2006|05:11pm]
ive just discovered dan bern, a really great folk musician
who happens to be coming to calgary folk fest!
i am so excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
2 Don't know what it is |Something is happening here

coffee..more than you think. [17 Mar 2006|03:16am]
the coffee is being
and its generally
i hear its soft
approaching me
the crunching of
the hot steam
of flavourful
my best friend
liquid soulmate
sits in a
clay mug
and holds me
when i hold her
when i feel pain
i drink her
into me
to warm
my soul
Something is happening here

[16 Mar 2006|05:34pm]
i suddenly am feeling down
i feel like..i will never be published. ever.
1 Don't know what it is |Something is happening here

[05 Mar 2006|04:04pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

such a fun time last night..
from 7pm-1am..candace & i went to ingrid's apartment.
we had wine...and patrick bought some "jager" i call it the jagger of the whiskeys..
so we played old records and patrick and i got in this huge discussion about humanrights vs religion...
i did my "jagger" for everyone..ingrid almost pissed herself.
then i wore this velvet 1905 jacket ingrid lent me, i actually just remembered..
so we all ended up leaving with hugs and kind cheek kisses.
it was beyond fun and fantastic.
i just wish i had some welsh old man chasing me down the road:(

2 Don't know what it is |Something is happening here

[27 Feb 2006|12:02am]
this evening
i took a kind stroll
the soft snow fell on me
these diamonds seemed to surround me
i crushed them with my boots
and left my mark
and the tweed on my jacket
could not even soak up
this elegance
i tried to avoid the reality of the streetlamps
they were only glowing domes of sunlight
that i had imagined them to be
the glow above me
the diamonds upon me
for a moment
gave me peace within
Something is happening here

[24 Feb 2006|10:19am]
[ mood | groggy ]

Spring is on the rise
our winter conflicts
secrets & emotions
revealed like
the unthawing of the earth
presenting a familar green
and ungraceful canine feces
almost the time when
scarfs become absurd
and we lose the excuses
we once made
for our sadness

Something is happening here

dream [16 Feb 2006|03:05pm]
i had the most...strange dream..

okay so i start off hanging out with elton john in my house? then i am at a zeppelin concert and robert plant is all young still and these girls were just going mad. So for some reason teh next band was playing and jimmy was sitting like 20 feet away from me...and he WINKED and i didn't belive it so i looked again and he tossed his shoe lace at me? A SHOE LACE. and the shoe lace smelled all sweaty and manly (yeah my dreams have smell in them!) and i was screaming i was like AHHH. then i appeared outside downtown and the new drug of choice of the glowing shit inside glow sticks. And everytime the kids snorted anddrank it they'd puke and shit their pants HAHAH and THEN i met up with urrrgh a boy i used to know..who lives far away. and he told me when he was here he was like this speed freak and he snorts the glowing stuff too. ODD. so i got really mad and sad. and i kept saying but but but i have jimmy page's shoe lace man! and then i woke up.
Something is happening here

[07 Feb 2006|11:35pm]
i don't know why i'm writing, i was just "ash write in your live journal" because my viewers are waiting. im kidding. seriously. really. i am kidding. like a joker to the theif.
you know how it is.
went out for coffee, and my pants were all wet. so i decided it wasn't fair to put my feet on the bench. because others would be like "i think someone urinated right here" then they would leave and complain about the coffee.

it would just be my bloody wet pants!
1 Don't know what it is |Something is happening here

[06 Feb 2006|12:16am]
holy shit my nerves are gone
i feel like a prisoner in my own bloody house for the fact that im not aloud to go for walks alone at night.
my chest hurts im probably dying
Something is happening here

[04 Feb 2006|06:36am]
[ mood | hungry ]

crisp leaves
make a familiar sound
under my boots
i feel remorse
as if i am
murdering a innocent beauty
such as this
i blow the fragile, aged foliage
a serene kiss
i wish it luck
as it drifts away
with the quiet wind
it dances before me
like a free soul
i am envious
of this marvelous
simplistic radiance

Something is happening here

[27 Jan 2006|04:01am]
Chilled Pillows
Goose Down
Circa, Too old
Shivers up your spin
Erected hairs on your arm
Loneliness in your heart
Vacancy in your hand
His pleasant groove,
Still in your pleasant quilt
His smell soaked into your skin
Where is he?
Found a different path
He hasn't forgotten you
Something is happening here

top me off [18 Jan 2006|02:03am]
[ mood | chipper ]

Swollen eye sockets.
Broken limbs.
Surprised by your effort,
Yet disappointed with your life.
Why can’t I win?
You ask yourself at night.
Who is Jesus?
I told you,
I don’t believe in him.
It doesn’t mean you can’t.
We all need something to believe in.
Something to give us comfort.
And cradle us when we fear death.
Rub your red eyes.
And open them to problems.
The ones that are buried deep within your soul,
The ones with eyes,
Eyes that see the pain around you.
See the man on street,
With his hands out.
Unplug your frightened ears,
The ones that hear the screams
Of souls that just lost their true love.
Then go to the café
And get a refill of the heart.

Something is happening here

[15 Jan 2006|02:36am]
[ mood | drunk ]

what an exciting night. i actually left my house for more than an hour. i went to tj's place..this fellow i have known of but never hung out, it was his birthday and he is pals with candace..so i went, with candaces brother, ryan and the 3 boys i have known since birth. anyway, his step father has probably 15 grand worth of beatles vinyls, never touched..and rare..i almost cried, i told him so many times how jealous i was. it was amazing, candace and i couldnt even speak. so we all got very drunk and watched 40 year old virgin..well parts. his folks made us shooters. it was great fun. i came home around 1230..now its 240 am and im drinking coffee and listening to cake. hmmmmm i should sleep but i shouldn't , u know how it is. beatles on my mind. as usual. wow, how obessed, its not even healthy.

2 Don't know what it is |Something is happening here

[11 Jan 2006|02:36am]
[ mood | cold ]

You look into the pale sky,
To see a translucent path.
It isn't a spirited touch of a hand.
You are far too young.
This beam of beauty,
begins to devour you,
body and soul.
Lift up your arms,
Feel the warm rays fill your heart.
Its all clear.
No more need for closing your eyes
You realize now.
Youre in love.

2 Don't know what it is |Something is happening here

[08 Jan 2006|02:49am]
[ mood | nervous ]

I wonder aimlessly
through a world of my own
i look inside myself
and find a vacant hole
i am looking for this man
i do not know his name
not yet
he won't show me his eyes
he wont let me see his soul
i often dream
of grasping his hand
and wandering endlessly
through the forest of life
touch the trees of pastimes
the air made of love
the sky above us
made of truth
and we know
its out of reach

Something is happening here

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